I was randomly thinking today that everything that we daydream that we want to do but can't is about fear... if you think about it, its kinda true. When we want to go out with a boy we are afraid that our parents will not approve or, for me, get mad for having a boyfriend... which leads you to hiding it from them... another is kissing the boy you like, you are afraid you might get rejected. maybe you want to do something totally out of your comfort level like sky dive or i don't know anything, but you don't because your to scared. i go to high school and i see girls with the perfect life, the ones that have boyfriends and bring them to meet their family and their parents trust them, those same girls that are way to popular and gorgeous for their own good. I always think can you really get that far on the popularity chart by being pretty and skinny? I answer I'm guessing is yes... but there is another thing why those same girls with their perfect life are where they are. Its because they are not afraid to put them selves out there, even if they do get humiliated. That's because they have so much self confidence and probably don't give a damn about what people say. I see that some people are purely lucky and some just work to get were they want to be...
Another thing that i was thinking today was that i seem different then my old self but in reality i'm trying not to be. The past years i was so outgoing and so able to put my self out there. i was that girl with the boyfriend, the one people envied, the one with confidence. Now i look at my self and don't always recognize my reflection anymore. my appearance hasn't really changed but compared to the other girls at my new big school im not that pretty. I used to have boyfriends but the boys at this new school all go for the same girl, gorgeous, stick skinny, blond girls. And because of all of this im losing my confidence and im losing who i used to be... and all i can do is try to find my old self in my reflection on the mirror but all i can say is "is that me?"
