Find me.

Sometimes i feel i am made for something different... i go to a school where everyone is rich, white, and gorgeous. Me? oh, i am middle class, pacific islander, irish, and spanish and more average looking if anything at all. People say they like my eyes but compared to everyone in my big school my eyes dull out to all the model type girls. at my old school i was popular because it was a small school, here i do know a lot of people but sometimes i have that wanting to be on that popular side, even if i do sometimes get annoyed with them it would feel good to be the one envied sometimes. i see how that boys do anything for those girls to notice them. i wish i could feel that. i have been wondering if i should start hanging out if some of my friends who are on that popular side. some how though i have a feeling that if i do start hanging out with them i might miss how it feels to be normal again. because i feel that if i am on that poplular side i wont have really real friends because they might be all superficial and just care about them selves. i don't know what i am suppose to do.

In the mean time, it is christmas break. Merry Christmas Everyone! over christmas break i have been watching this really cute anime... yes, i know i am a dork, but its only when i have nothing else to do, and its kind a secret that i watch these things so shhhhh! well i was watching this one where this mermaid saves this boy when they were really young and then seven years later, the mermaid goes to the human world to find him. this whole time the boy loves that mermaid and when the human form of the mermaid finds him shes happy but can't say shes a mermaid or else she'll turn into bubbles (lol cheesy) well through out the whole series she is trying to show clues that she is the mermaid that he is in love with. but then he starts falling in love with her human form. at the end of the first season he finds out and then its all good because he loves both forms of her. lol well i was watching this and thought about love and how i really want to experience it sometime soon. i've had my fair share in boyfriends but they were when i was younger. Its been a year since i have had one because i dont want just someone to waste my time on. i want it to be real this time. but it even though i know it will be hard, i know love will find me.