For a long time now I've been wanting to see people: my friend's band play and this 'cute boy'. Well...Last night I got to see both. I was able to talk to my friend but not 'cute boy'. I honestly did not even recognize him. Well, a week or two ago I promised myself that if I ever saw him I would just walk up to him and say hi or at least do something... but I didn't... I don't even know him that well and he is taking over all my thoughts at the moment. I call this being a coward. I wasn't brave enough to just say hi... what the fuck and I? Ugh!!! So...I came up with a list of reasons why I should stop thinking about him...1) remember his flaws (he didn't text you and for being slightly shady (for asking for other digits while having a gf). 2) Know my priorities... and he is not one of them. If I ever get involved with him it will just be distraction and it will weigh me down. 3) I have to be comfortable with my self before getting comfortable with boys. I have self respect and self value but I don't have that much self confidence. I know I have to believe him myself more so others can believe in me too. But its harder to do than it seems. If I know he's so bad for me and I want to get rid of him so bad, why does it hurt so bad? Why does it hurt knowing I missed out and might not see him for a long time. I hate how I act like such a girl when it comes to certain guys...I hate it...I hate defining myself as cowardly...
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