There's this boy... we'll name him Elbert... I liked him a couple years ago. He's not the hottest, the smartest, the most outgoing, or the funniest but I liked him for him. After a short while, my crush on him faded and we were no better than acquaintances. The next year, he and his friend would hang out with me and my friend after school. We got close and I heard humors that he was going to ask me to homecoming but nothing happened. Then another year passed and he asked me to prom. Although I was extremely happy, prom did not go as well as I thought it would. It was full of awkward silences, no dancing on his part (which is okay, and I understand), more awkward silences during the after party. It was a weird night. I was disappointed and I didn't even know why...
Months passed and I am where I am now. We talk but he does not talk to me the was he does with everyone else. He acts shy but no effort is given. I know I push people away but I also tried to talk to him but he would not have it. He honesty makes me sad. I wish I could imagine what it would be like to be with him but I can't. I know he's bad for me. He's a bad influence and to be perfectly honest he's really hard to talk to. He makes me nervous and I drives he insane to know that he has that effect on me. I don't want to like him but I do. I want to move on but I don't know where to go. I want to stop thinking about him but every time I sleep he's in my dreams. (seriously though, he's really in my dreams... it creeps me out!) Elbert... why can't I just move on? I thought I was over you... but I'm clearly not.
No comments:
Post a Comment